My first job out of college was in sales. I sold outdoor advertising in the San Francisco Bay Area for about 4 years. Because I played basketball in High School and in College, I approached selling as a big competition. I did quite well, because of my tenacity and confidence (all which I learned from Basketball). But one thing I was clueless on was that sales it is a “science” it is not an “art.” There is a system that must be followed in prospecting, asking questions, identifying needs, etc. Thinking about sales and relating it to marriage, I got an illustration for you to get it. Pretend you are in sales right now. You wanted to sell your product to another company. Lets say, you sold paint. The company you approached is real estate developer. You don’t ask them questions to identify what their needs are instead, you start going off at the mouth telling them how you have the best brightest colors to offer, lime green, orange and yellow. You show them pictures of past work. You tell them where your paint comes from. The history of your company. How you got the best customer service blah, blah, blah, blah…. The whole time, the real estate developer is thinking, “Man, this dude just doesn’t get it. If he would have done his homework, researched our company and even ask us how we do things, he would know that we only use tan and white on all our buildings. That color scheme is our trademark.” After your “pitch” they say, don’t call us we will get back to you.
Plain and simple, you would lose the sale because you didn’t pay attention to what they need, what they were saying and what they desire. You see, your wife is just like that company you are trying to sell to. You have to understand those “women needs.” Believe me they are not like our needs. You have to learn her way. You cant tell her they way you want to be loved and treated is wrong, you should be loved and treated this way because your way is better.
Marriage is about give and take. How can you give when you don’t know what to give? How do you know how to give her “what she wants” not what “you think she wants?”
Take her needs into consideration.Be interested in her.